I don’t own myself anymore. No one can see it, but I have chains all over my body; it’s no longer mine. I’m looking everywhere, searching on every corner, but I can’t find it — I’m lost. Lost. They got inside and stole everything: my tenacity, my freedom, my heart; even my (in)sanity. Now it’s empty, it’s all gone. Each and every part of me belongs to someone else — someone else but me. I became a broken machine, like a printer out of ink. Yes, a printer out of ink. They used me to print their papers, without any appreciation, and now there’s no more ink. I can’t print anything anymore. What saddens me the most is that I printed all their papers, but none of mine — mine are all blank. I wished someone would say, “it’s not broken, it’s just out of ink,” but I guess it’s easier to say I’m broken. Well, maybe I am. Maybe it’s impossible to fix me after so much damage. I can’t function anymore.
Life is full of wonders and teachings. However, many people suffer from depression — emptiness and despair have taken hold of their lives. Depression is not a matter of will, nor are other mental illnesses. Therefore, people whose lives appear to be perfectly happy can also suffer from it. Depression is a lack of emotions and expecting only the worse — from everything, including ourselves. How can we change this? Psychotherapy and medication helps, but we are the only ones who can truly find a way out. How? Letting go of things that makes us sad. When I say “things”, I mean feelings, people, behaviours and thoughts — especially thoughts. Avoid feeling guilty and hopeless. That’s what I’m doing and I believe it will help me a lot. If you have dreams and never had the chance to accomplish them, don’t let it go. Chase them, do whatever it takes to make it come true. If you’re doing something that makes you feel guilty and/or uncomfortable, stop doing it. No one is obliged to do anything. A few things are mandatory but only you can choose the way you wanna live your life. You don’t have to be perfect; there’s no such thing as “perfection”. If you’re not a sociable person, then don’t be. If you enjoy eating, don’t let any diet starve you. If you don’t enjoy unhealthy foods, then don’t eat it. You don’t have to like sunny days just because everyone else does. Every person has a chance to be unique, yet everybody chooses to be the same. Don’t ever let anyone else tell you how you should live your life. Surround yourself with people who brings you peace of mind and spirit. Breathe. Life shouldn’t be a struggle. It should be… free.