I don’t own myself anymore. No one can see it, but I have chains all over my body; it’s no longer mine. I’m looking everywhere, searching on every corner, but I can’t find it — I’m lost. Lost. They got inside and stole everything: my tenacity, my freedom, my heart; even my (in)sanity. Now it’s empty, it’s all gone. Each and every part of me belongs to someone else — someone else but me. I became a broken machine, like a printer out of ink. Yes, a printer out of ink. They used me to print their papers, without any appreciation, and now there’s no more ink. I can’t print anything anymore. What saddens me the most is that I printed all their papers, but none of mine — mine are all blank. I wished someone would say, “it’s not broken, it’s just out of ink,” but I guess it’s easier to say I’m broken. Well, maybe I am. Maybe it’s impossible to fix me after so much damage. I can’t function anymore.
We all have obsessions in life. Some are mild, some are dangerous. Both are hard to distinguish. Simple things can become a huge obsession, like losing weight for example. Some behaviours are so risky that people end up developing an obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). Why do we allow that to happen? The mind is far more complex than we believe it is. Intrusive thoughts have the power to enslave us without us noticing. Life is so complicated, isn’t it? No, it isn’t. We make things complicated because we are always second-guessing our decisions. It’s when the intrusive thoughts begin to take control over our minds. “Should I eat that?”. “Are my hands clean enough?”. “Where is she going?”. “What are they hiding?”. “What if I call him just one more time?”. When we need to do an extra effort to get something, it’s because it wasn’t supposed to be ours in the first place. That’s how simple life is. There is tremendous beauty in all its simplicity, but not everyone can see it. Instead, people choose to obsess over something (or someone) and from that moment on, their lives are completely destroyed. Having an unhealthy mind means having an unhealthy life.