Life is full of wonders and teachings. However, many people suffer from depression — emptiness and despair have taken hold of their lives. Depression is not a matter of will, nor are other mental illnesses. Therefore, people whose lives appear to be perfectly happy can also suffer from it. Depression is a lack of emotions and expecting only the worse — from everything, including ourselves. How can we change this? Psychotherapy and medication helps, but we are the only ones who can truly find a way out. How? Letting go of things that makes us sad. When I say “things”, I mean feelings, people, behaviours and thoughts — especially thoughts. Avoid feeling guilty and hopeless. That’s what I’m doing and I believe it will help me a lot. If you have dreams and never had the chance to accomplish them, don’t let it go. Chase them, do whatever it takes to make it come true. If you’re doing something that makes you feel guilty and/or uncomfortable, stop doing it. No one is obliged to do anything. A few things are mandatory but only you can choose the way you wanna live your life. You don’t have to be perfect; there’s no such thing as “perfection”. If you’re not a sociable person, then don’t be. If you enjoy eating, don’t let any diet starve you. If you don’t enjoy unhealthy foods, then don’t eat it. You don’t have to like sunny days just because everyone else does. Every person has a chance to be unique, yet everybody chooses to be the same. Don’t ever let anyone else tell you how you should live your life. Surround yourself with people who brings you peace of mind and spirit. Breathe. Life shouldn’t be a struggle. It should be… free.
Stomach twitching, sweat and adrenaline rush. Basic symptoms we feel when we want to say something, but can’t. When we’re so close, yet so far. Morality is a pain sometimes. This is why we have songs, movies, books and blogs – to find some kind of relief. The best artists are the ones who created something from the things they’ve left unsaid. Desire, anger, disappointment, passion, heartbreak, platonic love, etc. These are the best unsaid feelings one could have in order to create something beautiful, something that will touch the hearts of thousands of people. My question is, why do we leave so many things unsaid? Morality is one of the reasons, but what else? Why do I keep all of this to myself? Why do we say “hi!” when we want to say “I’m crazy for you!”? Why do we smile when we want to cry? Why do we say goodbye to someone we want to stay? And why, oh why, do we have to deprive ourselves from happiness just to make other people happy? Morality and commitment, perhaps. I guess I will have to add this to the pile of unanswered questions about all the unsaid things.
We are all connected. Before the advent of the internet, this phrase would sound like something cosmic. Now, it’s an accurate statement. We are all connected, indeed – on Facebook, Tumblr, Instagram, Pinterest, Twitter, Blogs, etc. We are everywhere. Nothing passes unnoticed. Social media has tremendous importance in our lives nowadays; such importance that we measure how people like us by the amount of “likes” we receive every time we post something new. Most importantly, we realize how much we like someone when all we care about is if this person liked what we posted (or not). The new “butterfly in the stomach” is checking the notifications. The new idea of rejection is the “seen” message with no answer. Our generation doesn’t expect love letters; it expects pokes, likes, comments and emoticons. If someone writes something without a smiley face in the end, it’s because they’re mad. Now tell me how your heart beats faster when he or she is online. That agony to see his or her picture with a green online status beside it. The voice in your head telling you to send a message, saying no matter what, and seconds later discouraging you to do so. That’s the new drama of our relationships, the new nature of our feelings. That’s how deep we are into social media.
Some would say certain smells and sounds can make you think of a memory; I couldn’t agree more. Instead of sticking only to smell and hearing, I allow all my senses to remind me of something or someone. When I see sunflowers, for example, I think of my mom. I remember the first time I took her to the Botanical Gardens in Montreal. When I touch my old diaries, I remember the emotions I was feeling when I wrote it. When I eat my grandma’s rice, I remember my childhood. There’s one specific occasion where all my senses get together: sunny sundays. It makes me think of my favourite memory, which is family time. The sun, the sound of children laughing and the smell of picnic food. The way people like to play with their kids and hold their loved ones hands. Even with all this detailed picture, it wouldn’t be the perfect scenario without the ice cream. In fact, this is my favourite part; a large twisted ice cream cone. When I think about its taste, all the other senses lose priority. I don’t usually allow myself to eat ice cream, but when I wake up to a beautiful sunday, I gladly allow myself to do so. I get out of bed, as excited as a 5 year-old girl and go out to eat ice cream. I go back to when I was younger; I have the same feelings. I nostalgically remember how it felt to be a kid. The best aspect of my present sundays is the fact I’m building new memories on top of old ones. I guess sundays and ice cream will always mean family time to me.
I’ve always loved animals. My very first friend was Roy, my dad’s Dalmatian. When I see pictures of myself as a baby with him by my side, I almost feel like I remember that moment. He was adorable. I grew up knowing how it feels to be loved by an animal, which is the best kind of love there is. Therefore, I’ve always known how it feels to love animals too. I was only 13 when I told my parents I wouldn’t eat meat anymore. One of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Not because I think people who eat meat don’t love animals, but because I’ve never felt good about it. It’s not a secret that I prefer animals over humans. Their love for us is unconditional. So is mine for them. I had birds, turtles, fish, hamsters (one of them believed he was Spider-Man), a loving and friendly bunny called Anita and my dog Duddy, who lives with my parents. A house without an animal is completely empty. That’s how I felt when I moved out. Seeing how much I missed having a pet, someone I love very deeply decided to give me a gift: Ellie, my Ragdoll. I’ve never had a cat before. The things people read about cats are completely inaccurate. Ellie is not only my cat, she’s also my love. She’s my best friend. I’ve had a lot of pet-friends before, but none like her. She’s absolutely adorable, in every way. Where I go, she follows me. When I’m working, she sleeps beside my computer. I’m never alone because she’s always with me. Ellie is a cat and she is friendly; she doesn’t hide from strangers (just a few, but so do I). She plays fetch and she doesn’t ruin my curtains or scratch the couch. Ellie made me realize I’ve always been the crazy cat lady, but never knew before.
Here’s the link to Ellie’s YouTube channel, if you’d like to see how adorable she is: http://bit.ly/1rda2LY