A letter to the dead

What would you say if you could write one last letter to the dead — a dead person you loved very much? Would you waste your last chance with sorrow or would you use this opportunity to say how much you love them and how much you appreciate everything they’ve done? Would you ask for forgiveness? Or would you let them know you’ve truly forgiven them? Now let me ask you a few more questions. What if the dead person was you? Would you be so kind and thankful towards yourself? Most importantly, would you forgive yourself for all the bad things you’ve done? Life and death walk side by side, we never really know when our last chance to redemption will be — so why not start today? People make mistakes all the time, we are only human. What makes the difference is changing what we will do in the future. If you’ve done something wrong, ask for forgiveness. If you’ve had an argument with someone you love (significant other, family, friends, etc), tell them you’re sorry. It might sound a little morbid, but pretend you are all going to die tomorrow. Don’t go to bed with regret — this is the worst thing in the world. Don’t wait to fix things up later — fix it now! Change everything you can in order to be happy. If you know you’re doing something that will hurt someone else, stop it. Find the will to surpass your ego — there’s nothing wrong in asking for forgiveness and admitting you were wrong. Don’t be the one responsible for someone else’s sadness. Never hurt the people you love. You never know when their last day alive will be — or yours.

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An honest cry out for help

This letter was written by my best friend — a person who has not had an easy life emotionally, not until now. His honest cry out for help could change many people’s lives. Unfortunately, I know he’s not alone.


“I’m not the kind of person who likes to share my personal life and thoughts on Facebook — I know most of the time it doesn’t make any difference. Today, I realized there’s something I really feel like sharing — something I’ve been keeping to myself ever since I was younger. I would really appreciate if people read it — that’s the whole point of posting something, I guess. 

Even though I have a family and friends who never let me down, I’ve been afraid for too long. I can only imagine how hard it must be when all your fears come true — when your friends leave you aside, when your parents don’t want you to live with them anymore, when someone dies or suffers some kind of violence for being gay. I also imagine how hard it must be to keep this secret in fear throughout your life. A fear that keeps you from doing almost everything — from taking chances and opportunities to be happy. People usually say, “You’re young, beautiful, wealthy and healthy. What else do you expect from life?”

In fact, “fear” might not be the right word to describe it. Maybe there’s no definition to what I feel every time someone says something absurd about my sexuality. (And about others, too.) I would never want to put a label on anyone, specially on myself. How wonderful would it be if we lived in a world without any type of prejudice? Unfortunately, we don’t. A lot of people suffer because of other people’s prejudice against homossexuality. Being gay doesn’t keep me from doing anything nowadays — but it had before. Not because I felt incapable of doing anything — nobody ever denied me a job position for being gay, for example. What kept me from doing things was the fear of people treating me differently because I’m gay. I don’t want to disrespect anyone’s opinion, but I truly believe every kind of love should be respected — both heterossexual and homossexual. 

What I really meant to say was that it’s time to make a change. Some people like to pretend they are self-aware of the Universe, that they are loving and caring towards other people (the poor, the sick and the hopeless) and animals. These are the same people who are completely blind when it comes to helping a person who is suffering prejudice right in front of their eyes. Many people suffer every day for not being accepted and respected for being who they truly are — specially by their families and close friends. It pains me to see how many people are completely abandoned by their families for being gay. Parents are no longer parents and they’re orphans all of a sudden. Some of them commit suicide, some suffer from depression or even make abusive use of drugs because of this ignorant behaviour. Why it’s so hard to love one another? People who decide to have children should love them, not judge them so harshly. 

People should think twice before making fun of homossexuality. Put yourself in their shoes. Can you imagine how hard it must be to see people making fun of who you are and who you love? Saying that Drag Queens should only go out at night or that two men (or women) cannot kiss in public is completely outrageous. How can some people say that an act of love can incite so much hate and violence? The next time you hear something like that, try to imagine how dreadful it would be if you couldn’t feel safe to go out with your wife or husband — not without fearing you could both be beaten just for being together, walking hand-in-hand. Or if you owned something you love and couldn’t wear it because of the fear of being robbed. Now try to imagine how infuriating it is not to be able to be yourself — all the time. Not being accepted at home, by your own parents. This outraging feeling is what thousands of people feel every day because they are too afraid of living their lives the way they want to. Countless people suffer in silence all the time, locked in their rooms and away from the world. Some people are incapable of developing healthy social relationships because of the fear of not being accepted. This is the main cause of both depression and suicidal thoughts. 

So before saying anything superficial and inaccurate about homossexuality, try to put yourself in their shoes. Understand how hard you can make someone else’s life by being so biased. For all the gay people around the world — you are not alone. This is a fight we will fight together. If you mistreat gays and lesbians, try to imagine how you would feel if someone treated you the same way.”


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Letting go of things that makes you sad

Life is full of wonders and teachings. However, many people suffer from depression — emptiness and despair have taken hold of their lives. Depression is not a matter of will, nor are other mental illnesses. Therefore, people whose lives appear to be perfectly happy can also suffer from it. Depression is a lack of emotions and expecting only the worse — from everything, including ourselves. How can we change this? Psychotherapy and medication helps, but we are the only ones who can truly find a way out. How? Letting go of things that makes us sad. When I say “things”, I mean feelings, people, behaviours and thoughts — especially thoughts. Avoid feeling guilty and hopeless. That’s what I’m doing and I believe it will help me a lot. If you have dreams and never had the chance to accomplish them, don’t let it go. Chase them, do whatever it takes to make it come true. If you’re doing something that makes you feel guilty and/or uncomfortable, stop doing it. No one is obliged to do anything. A few things are mandatory but only you can choose the way you wanna live your life. You don’t have to be perfect; there’s no such thing as “perfection”. If you’re not a sociable person, then don’t be. If you enjoy eating, don’t let any diet starve you. If you don’t enjoy unhealthy foods, then don’t eat it. You don’t have to like sunny days just because everyone else does. Every person has a chance to be unique, yet everybody chooses to be the same. Don’t ever let anyone else tell you how you should live your life. Surround yourself with people who brings you peace of mind and spirit. Breathe. Life shouldn’t be a struggle. It should be… free.

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Shallow Hal Wants A Gal

“Shallow Hal” is one of my favourite comedies. It tells the story of two guys, Hal and his friend Mauricio, who would only date extremely beautiful women, even though they are both short, average good looking. Hal’s life takes a turn when he finds himself stuck in the elevator with a celebrity magician. The puts some short of spell on Hal and he would only see women’s inner beauty from that day on. The story goes on and at the end Hal learns how shallow he used to be. I’ve always loved this movie because it tells the truth about our society, in a comical way. Even though the movie is witty, reality is not. Having to deal with this shallowness every day is a dread of terror. I don’t usually enjoy what most people do, and I’m glad I don’t. Now, more than ever. It’s impressive how self-centered most people are. Nothing (and no one) is ever good enough and what matters the most is what other people will think of you. We live our lives according to “cool” behaviour norms to feel accepted by everyone. What happened to our free will? Society became some kind of oppressor and we follow the rules, accordingly. Thankfully, some of us don’t. We, the misfits, usually suffer from depression and oppression because our point of view is completely different from that of the great mass of people. So keep in your life the ones who love you and accept you for what you are, not those who label you with superficial traits. They will be gone as soon as these “traits” are not cool anymore.

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Airport

Mondays are known as the day nobody likes. If monday was a person, it would have no friends, no family and no soul. My monday was beyond unusual today. It was 7:50am when I received a call from a very good friend of mine. He was sick and asked me if I could go pick his sister up at the airport in a couple of hours. I agreed, considering he’s one of my best friends. I got dressed and got to the airport on time. The thing about airports is that you have to wait; there’s no way out. You can either die of boredom or you can find something interesting to do. Some people listen to music, others enjoy good conversations or play games on their phones. I like to observe people; their excitement and their complete lack of emotion. The look in their eyes, especially the children. Balloons and flowers everywhere. Sometimes I can feel their anxiety, their heartbeat. I almost cried like a baby today when I saw a little girl welcoming her mother with arms wide open and a huge smile; it made me miss my mom even more. I also like to observe people who apparently have no emotions at all. People who welcome others as if it wasn’t a big deal (maybe it isn’t). The vibe at the airport can go from complete happiness to absolute sadness, depending on where you look. That’s what intrigues me the most. I waited for almost one hour and a half. She was taking way too long to arrive. “Something must have happened”, I said to myself. After speaking to someone at the information desk, I realized she had missed her flight and would arrive hours later. Today I basically went to the airport just to observe people. If you ever have a chance to quietly observe people, do so. You will be marvelled.

Side note: My friend’s sister arrived and he’s doing much better. 

Obsessions

We all have obsessions in life. Some are mild, some are dangerous. Both are hard to distinguish. Simple things can become a huge obsession, like losing weight for example. Some behaviours are so risky that people end up developing an obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). Why do we allow that to happen? The mind is far more complex than we believe it is. Intrusive thoughts have the power to enslave us without us noticing. Life is so complicated, isn’t it? No, it isn’t. We make things complicated because we are always second-guessing our decisions. It’s when the intrusive thoughts begin to take control over our minds. “Should I eat that?”. “Are my hands clean enough?”. “Where is she going?”. “What are they hiding?”. “What if I call him just one more time?”. When we need to do an extra effort to get something, it’s because it wasn’t supposed to be ours in the first place. That’s how simple life is. There is tremendous beauty in all its simplicity, but not everyone can see it.  Instead, people choose to obsess over something (or someone) and from that moment on, their lives are completely destroyed. Having an unhealthy mind means having an unhealthy life.